Me, a Great Leader?!

Back cover graphic and text


Fifth Estate # 285, August, 1977

Image of back cover feature, Me, a Great Leader?! The accompanying article includes the text included with the image.“Me, start a vanguard party to lead the working class to revolution? You must be kidding!”

Just imagine being a respected and beloved fatherly leader under whose wise guidance the revolutionary masses will forge ahead daily with the fiery zeal of “speed-up” campaign!!!

Your own central committee!

Your picture here! (and everywhere else!)

Great assemblies like this will thrill to your every word!!!

Over the past few years, Party Builders Associates has aided countless individuals and groups to form vanguard parties intelligently tailored to their own needs. These people are now leading creative, happy lives fighting one another. What we’ve done for others, we can do for you.

A few minutes spent in filling out the following questionnaire may be the best investment you will ever make. Your answers will enable Party Builders Associates, preserving strict confidentiality, to work out a party program that is JUST RIGHT for you and your friends. Our fee for this service is so minimal that you would laugh at us if we printed it in this ad. Just send us the most ridiculously small amount that you can think of, and we’ll send your change when we send your new platform.

And now, here’s the questionnaire. We advise using’ a pencil, since these are by no means easy questions, and your party will not be able to alter the positions taken here without seriously damaging your credibility among the workers.

(1) The Russian Revolution turned away from socialism in:
(a) 1917
(b) 1927
(c) 1953
(d) 1957
(e) It hasn’t yet, but my group will be the first to denounce it when it does.
(f) Other (please specify):

(2) Black people are:
(a) A nation
(b) A nation of a new type
(c) A super-exploited sector of the working class
(d) Petit-bourgeois
(e) A colony
(f) Please send me more information about this controversial group.

(3) The main danger facing the workers’ vanguard in the present epoch is:
(a) Right opportunism
(b) “Left” sectarianism
(c) Right opportunism masking as “left” sectarianism
(d) My parents
(e) Other (please specify):

(4) Rather than focusing only on narrow economic issues, my party will also offer a cultural critique of life in advanced capitalist civilization. The following are symptoms of capitalist decadence:
(a) Homosexuality
(b) Trotskyism
(c) Pornographic movies
(d) Recent price increases in pornographic movies
(e) Other (please give exact details):

(5) I would like to include the following in the title of my party:
(a) Labor
(b) Workers
(c) Revolutionary
(d) Socialist
(e) Communist
(f) Vanguard
(g) Progressive
(h) October (November)
(i) United
(j) International
(k) M
(I) L

Mail check or money order today to
Box 1917,
St. Petersburg, Florida 30301