HipPocrates

by

Fifth Estate # 91, October 30-November 12, 1969

photo, Dr. Eugene Schoenfeld speaking at Community Arts Auditorium, May 28, 1969
Dr. Eugene Schoenfeld speaking at Community Arts Auditorium, May 28, 1969 at a benefit for Open City. Photo: Alan Gotkin.

Dear Dr. Schoenfeld.

This may be a bit out of your line but I have a dog who is gay.

Not that he will pass up a chance with a female dog, but he really goes out of his way to do it with a male dog.

Is my K-9 blind, crazy or really homosexual?

ANSWER: I considered referring your letter to Dr. Frank Miller’s excellent and witty veterinary column. But then I thought my red-bearded veterinary consultant might be in a rut so telephoned him instead.

He told me that when a female dog is in heat, excitement is literally in the air. Dogs of both sexes perk up their noses and other parts for one or two miles around.

Mounting activity (the master’s leg, e.g.) is often a bad habit carried over from puppyhood, but homosexuality is quite common in animals. So is masturbation.

S.I.R. is a well known homophile organization. Perhaps you and your pet could found C.U.R.?

Dear Dr. Hip Pocrates,

For several months I have been trying to lose weight. Whenever I feel I’ve eaten too much, I force myself to vomit by sticking my finger down my throat and pressing in on my stomach muscle.

I drink a lot of water during the day and try to vomit immediately after eating. Only the bulk of my meal, never to the point where I get an acrid taste. The only immediate ill effects I’ve noticed is gas on my stomach for a day or so afterward.

Several of my friends also do this and we were wondering about long-range effects.

ANSWER: When I read your letter I quickly checked the postmark but it wasn’t sent from Rome.

A few weeks ago, I met a girl who told me she and her roommate practiced the same unusual method of weight control. They were living in Paris at the time and really dug the food. But they kept gaining weight. Instead of throwing up their hands, they sacrificed their meals.

Fasting is an acceptable way to lose weight under a physician’s supervision. The method described here, however, adds the risk of upsetting the body’s chemical balance through loss of gastric fluids. Severe retching can cause rupturing of the stomach with fatal results.

Maybe we are returning to the days of ancient Rome. Peel me a (union) grape, someone.

Dear Dr. Schoenfeld,

In a recent column you answered a question about scalp hair. I am more interested in pubic hair.

My boyfriend likes thick pubic hair and keeps asking me to shave mine so it will grow back thicker. He says women who have had babies (i.e. had the pubic hair shaved) have much thicker and more hair than before the experience.

ANSWER: You may bristle at this, but to the best of my knowledge hair will not grow back more thickly when cut or shaved. Hair is dead matter except for the “root” beneath the skin.

Besides, think of the five o’clock shadow….

A University of Wisconsin researcher has found that marijuana use in 8 Madison high schools was highest among children of public high school teachers and state university professors. Disproportionately high numbers of users were also found among children of government administrators, business executives, physicians and lawyers.

The lowest proportion of marijuana use was found amongst children of salesmen, clerical workers, skilled laborers, craftsmen and semi-skilled and unskilled laborers

Dear Dr. Hip Pocrates is a collection of letters and answers published by Grove Press. $5 at your favorite bookstore.

Dr. Schoenfeld welcomes your letters. Write to him c/o P.O. Box 9002, Berkeley, California 94709.

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