Following hard on the heels of such pictures as “Willard,” “Ben,” and the near-interminable “Planet of the Apes” series, Universal Pictures is now producing “Ssssssss,” a movie about a man turned into a giant king cobra. Undoubtedly, it will be a movie about a man who cannot tell the truth—”speaks with forked tongue.”
The whole thing department: Americans consumed $109-million worth of nonprescription antacids last year.
The Navy spent $375,000 scientifically studying flight characteristics of Frisbees to determine whether they could be used for warfare. After 4 years of tossing them off of cliffs and billions of feet of filming, the Pentagon disclosed that “it just wasn’t worth the effort.” (By the way, Frisbee is made by the Whammo Company which is owned by none-other than I.T.T.).
Going to the dentist can literally be a pain in the neck. According to a report in the British Dental Journal, a Scotsman went to the dentist recently to have his teeth out. He left the office later with a pain in his neck so severe he decided to have it x-rayed. The x-ray showed that the man had a broken neck. It turned out that the headrest on the dentist’s chair had collapsed while he was under anesthetic—so he didn’t feel a thing until later.
If you haven’t caught TV’s equal time response to Archie Bunker—she’s “Maude,” supposedly the rightwing hardhat’s “liberal” equivalent; you’d better hurry. The show is getting so “daring” that it’s already run into trouble with some local affiliates (including the right-wing’s last line of defense of local moral standards—WJBK-TV2). A recent episode involves the 46-year-old woman’s sudden discovery that she’s pregnant, which is certainly a violation of the media myth that no one over the age of 30 uses a bed for anything but sleeping. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, episode number 2 has Maude trying to decide whether or not to have an a…n! The show was canceled locally by TV2. Meanwhile, the tube’s first “serious” contemplation of homosexuality, “That Certain Summer,” drew cancellations from a flock of local outlets and protests from most gay liberation groups because its “hero” was considerably less than a militant.
And how ’bout this: According to a Nader researcher, the average consumer ingests about five pounds of chemical additives a year.
A group of New Orleans businessmen has proposed the world’s first high-rise campground—to be built in downtown New Orleans. The 20-story, $4 million project would feature parking on the first 8 stories; the remaining 12 stories of the high rise would offer trailer and tent sites. Campers would be charged approximately $11 per day to camp on the upper floors. This high-rise “roughing it” facility would also offer a snack bar, a rooftop picnicking area and possibly a repair shop for camper trucks.
The police department in Elizabeth, Tennessee, has lost its prized marijuana plant. The 6-foot plant had been placed in a music store window as part of a “community service display” to warn local residents what a pot plant looks like. Police report that a “longhaired man” entered the store, grabbed the plant and fled before anyone could react.
The literate right-wing has now joined the Rainbow People’s Party in supporting the move to decriminalize marijuana. William Buckley’s National Review magazine has come out editorially in favor of having the government keeping their nose out of people’s private lives. All of which is claimed to be “consistent” with “conservative philosophy” (what a pleasant euphemism for a philosophy based entirely on greed).
A research institute in Maryland beginning studies on the effect of pot smoking was having difficulty finding volunteers, reported the Baltimore Sun, to smoke high-quality marijuana. The following day, by 9 a.m., there were over 400 volunteers lining the avenue anxiously waiting for the institute’s doors to open.
Bayer Aspirin Trip dept.: Two Stanford University medical researchers have taken a survey which indicates that 25% of all doctors in the US have tried marijuana. Martin Lipp and Samuel Benson say they questioned 1,300 physicians selected at random across the United States. One in every 4 doctors said they had tried pot; and one in every 14 reported that he or she still uses it regularly.
Remember baseball cards for baseball fans? Soon there will be “rock star trading cards” for music freaks. Hit-makers of Hollywood are getting ready to market 600 different cards with pictures of pop, rock and blues musicians. The company is hoping that music freaks will begin trading, say, “Three Dog Night” for perhaps “Elton John” or “Leon Russell,” (why trade a headache for an upset stomach?), just as kids used to swap baseball players. The music cards will have a picture of the group on one side, and, on the back, information on each musician, including his or her astrological sign. We guess it’s just part of the American way…