Fifth Estate # 94, December 11-24, 1969

Dear Dr. Hip Pocrates,

I seldom read your column, it usually actually makes me sick to my stomach to know there are such vulgar, uncivilized, people.

photo, Dr. Eugene Schoenfeld speaking at Community Arts Auditorium, May 28, 1969
Dr. Eugene Schoenfeld speaking at Community Arts Auditorium, May 28, 1969 at a benefit for Open City. Photo: Alan Gotkin.

Today my husband showed me your column about the man who liked to wake up his wife by making love to her in the morning. He’s an early riser and I’m not (he relaxes in the evenings while I take care of dinner, children, and chores). He remarked that he might try that sometime. I told him and I’ll tell you, if he ever does, in that manner, I’ll probably kill him and blame you for contributing to the cause.

People live happily enough until they read all these perverted sex things—and get ideas, or think they are missing something. It’s turning the world into a cesspool—it’ll end up like the Roman Empire—in decadence.

Why don’t you try and make things better instead of worse—a better world, instead of an animal jungle? I also wish your laboratory assistant and her kind would mate with their own kind. That might help a lot.

Let’s hope computers help out in this respect.


Dear Dr. Hip Pocrates,

Referring to sex early in the morning, I’m with your laboratory assistant—what better way to start the day. But the inconsiderate chap goes about it all wrong.

Generally, loving foreplay is the key and I swear the inconsiderate one would not have an irate wife for a moment if he were not just thinking of himself.

When dear wife is in deep slumber, loving foreplay just takes that much longer. After awhile there is a faint smile on her lips. Lover keeps on until the purring commences. When the purring changes to that low, sensuous moan at the end of each breath, a sound more beautiful than any other sound in this world, then there lies a willing partner, so communicate.

When she opens her eyes for the first time, her first words should be:

“You know—I love you.”

QUESTION: Last weekend, a gourmet chef visited our house and prepared a delicious cold rice salad. Amongst the spices in the salad dressing was a generous dash of marijuana.

He told no one about his recipe until the dozen of us were on our third helpings. By that time, it was obvious that our non-smoking household had been affected very pleasantly.

When I told other people about the meal, many of them said that pot can only affect one through smoking. Who is right?

ANSWER: You are. But the gourmet chef was wrong.

Marijuana is certainly effective when taken by mouth and more active when heated. That’s why cookie and brownie (Alice B. Toklas’ variety) baking has become so popular recently. Effects of ingested marijuana don’t become apparent for an hour or so and then last four or five hours.

Secretly adding any drug to food or drink is dangerous. Even though marijuana is relatively non-toxic, an innocent brownie muncher might become frightened and panicky if he didn’t know the cause of his trip.

Some physicians believe smoking marijuana is preferable to eating it because inhaled marijuana is effective within minutes, allowing the smoker to control his high. If the drug is ingested, more of it may be taken than desired. On the other hand, marijuana smoke is irritating to the lungs, though probably less so than an equivalent amount of tobacco.

Underground sources indicate that the Great Grass Famine of 1969 was caused not so much by a decreased supply, but the millions of new users.

Dear Dr. Hip Pocrates is a collection of letters and answers published by Grove Press. $5 at your favorite bookstore.

Dr. Schoenfeld welcomes your letters. Write to him c/o PO Box 9002, Berkeley, California 94709.